Finding My Way Through Grief at Work

Two weeks ago, everything about how I work changed.

I have been moving through what I can only describe as an incredibly thick and inconsistent grief. I've experienced loss before, but nothing quite like this. This is a grief that has delayed but also hastened my movements through my everyday life. I walk, eat, cook and even think both more quickly and slowly than I did before. This moment has taught me so much about how we need to engage with grief at work. What do you need to know in order to support a grieving team member?

Spontaneous Leave

Some days, I'm completely fine. Others, I'm a mess. Sometimes I literally need to work and working is the only thing keeping me grounded. Bereavement leave needs to accommodate this reality. Early in the grief journey, lots of folks need a couple of weeks to make arrangements and take next steps out and that’s totally fine. But when we build bereavement policies that require workers to take leave for six consecutive weeks, it often doesn’t accommodate the reality that grief comes in waves. So give folks the time and space they require to grieve the way they need to. 

Make Room for All of Us

Grief is not experienced in isolation from the rest of life. For marginalized communities, loss may be compounded by systemic inequities, limited access to resources, or histories of collective trauma. Recognizing these layers helps us move beyond a one-size-fits-all approach. For example, offering bereavement leave that accounts for chosen family, be they friends, drag mothers or animal kin—as well as biological family—acknowledges the realities of queer and trans communities and builds inclusivity into workplace policies.

Grief is All-Encompassing 

Grief can have profound effects on the body. People experience fatigue, insomnia, headaches, or changes in appetite after a loss. Long-term grief can also weaken the immune system, increase vulnerability to illness, or exacerbate chronic conditions. An inclusive approach to grief recognizes these physical dimensions and accommodates them as part of the grieving process. By honoring the physical impact of grief, we not only support healing more fully but also reduce stigma around how loss affects the whole body.

Grief is hard, but realistic, inclusive policies can meet the moment and support your teams when they most need it.